This Is It!

*Blog title of course sung to the tune of Huey Lewis and the News' song*

I don't know if this is it, but it sure feels like early labor.  I had an appointment today and my doctor said I was 4 cm dilated already, which I just don't believe because I think I would have been having more contractions.  Either way, I asked her to strip my membranes since she is on call tonight (and then not again until Thursday night!).  So we'll see.

Either way, I don't think I've explored on my blog my ambivalence about "a birth plan", and I wanted to do that before having the baby.  Last time, I was also ambivalent.  My mom had three "natural" childbirths, and despite her tight set jaw when one of my friends told her how easy her delivery had been with an epidural, I still felt (feel?) like having an unmedicated delivery was something that I wanted to experience.  Or at least an unmedicated labor for as much as I could stand--let's face it, I don't have the highest pain tolerance.  With Elena, I had excruciating back pain that began about 8-10 hours after my contractions had started up... and I was only 3-4 cm at that point.  On one of my last ultrasounds of Elena, my doctor noted that she was "sunny side up", meaning the back of her big ol' head was wedged right up against my sacrum.  I think Elena stayed that way until she turned at the end... or at least I hope that was the case.  Otherwise, I really am a wimp because I could NOT stand the pain, and was so thankful to finally get my epidural after getting totally stoned with IV pain medication (when really I wanted to try the jacuzzi room, but was in too much pain to think of it).  I called my mom and sister after getting my epidural when I wasn't so high to tell them that the Stadol I had been given "was like smoking 10 joints."  I giggled so much during that conversation--which was good, considering I was giggling in between contractions and crying with back pain during them prior to the epidural.  (I apologized to the anesthesiologist for "messing with his area" in putting IcyHot on my low back...)

My actual delivery was wonderful--2.5 pushes, got to deliver Elena up onto my chest and watch with a mirror.  Easy breezy.  But she did take a while to come back to me after they toweled her off.  That part I would like to change, but we'll get there.

I still have this ridiculous notion of having an unmedicated delivery--"natural childbirth" is just so romanticized, and before I was pregnant I thought maybe I'd look into HypoBirthing or something.  My rational brain keeps telling me that there is no prize for forgoing medication, but my emotional brain keeps thinking of my mom and my friends who had their babies "naturally".  I keep using quotes because my rational brain realizes that a vaginal birth is natural, yet somehow the addition of medication negates that experience in the minds of many, sometimes even my own.  But the more I think of it, the more those stories just sound terrible--wrenching, burning pain; hours of suffering through contractions... Who wants to go through that when you don't have to?  Hence my ambivalence, because I'm still curious.

I have been addicted to this one website, SpinningBabies.com.  Basically, the creator of the site (who does workshops and the like and has midwives from all over emailing and calling her for advice) outlines a bunch of maneuvers/exercises to keep babies in the OA position (back of the head towards the pubic bone) to facilitate an easier birth.  Have I been doing the exercises?  Of course not.  Have I contacted a doula who might be more helpful than the deer-caught-in-headlights husband I had when I was paralyzed with pain with Elena?  Sort of--I emailed her last week, but didn't follow up with a phone call which is really what I knew should be done.  Either way, SpinningBabies.com is pretty cool, and the source of the rebozo comment that I made on Facebook a while back (Josh did help me with the pelvic release the other night, so maybe he'll warm up to the rebozo after all).

So, meds or no meds, that is the question.  But I would really like to labor in the jacuzzi room (our tub at home is too shallow and a little narrow).  I would also like to hang on to Nina for an hour or so, doing skin-to-skin uninterrupted during that time and allowing her to nurse.  I would also like for them to administer the vitamin K while I am nursing, since nursing during vaccines seems to help Elena tolerate them very well (she's only cried the one time she wasn't nursing due to the nurse's preference in positioning!).  That whole painful association with nursing thing is totally bunk (in my opinion which I will not research at this time) since an AAP supported use of pacifiers in the first month is for painful procedures.  Sucking and being close to mom are immensely comforting.  And then after the first hour they can do the eye goop and weigh her.

So that's my birth plan.  Read it and weep, St. Joe's nurses. :)  Anyway, we'll see how good of a doula Josh will be this time around, seeing as he just peeked over my shoulder (and doesn't otherwise read my blogs).

Ugh, let this be labor!  I don't want to work my stupid half day tomorrow!!