"...And... she's been biting some of the other children," they told me. Oh. Ooops. Luckily it's only when another child takes her "work", which is what toys are apparently called in the Montessori system. Apparently Elena has been taking cues from Heather and "using her words," loudly stating, "MY WORK!" when her work is under threat, but she still bites sometimes. She cries when shown that her friends are crying due to the biting, and then she goes to the "peace area". The peace area sounds so much nicer than our hallway, which is the usual time out place in our home.
"It might just be a sign that she is bored with the work, or that she's frustrated that the other kids aren't at her maturity level." Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure they were just sugar-coating the fact that my child is a biter. Hopefully it is just a phase? She isn't a real biter at home (stay tuned), so how do you discipline her for something that is happening when you're not around? I guess I'll just have to count on Heather to do that.
The one silver lining was a possible explanation why Elena bit me twice the week before. Maria suggested that perhaps she just wanted to see how I would react to a biting offense. Yes, I'm still nursing my 19-month old. My mother not-so-gently suggested that perhaps the biting was Elena's way of telling me she wanted to move to a cup. I didn't think I'd nurse for this long, but likely because the only role-model I had for extended nursing (beyond a year) was my friend Leila. In retrospect, I feel especially bad about asking her each time we got together, "Are you *still* nursing?" Really, I wanted to see how long one could feasibly nurse for and still be a normal person. And the more reading I did around the time of Elena's first birthday, the more normal moms I found that are nursing their kids for longer than a year (or two).
Regarding extended nursing, I don't think people plan to nurse their kids until they're 3 or 4. It's something that just happens. Last week, which was an atypical week, I dropped Elena off at daycare every morning before 7:30, and picked her up after 5:30. That's 50 hours of daycare last week! Most adults don't even work that much in a week. I think both of us really enjoy our quiet time together after long days apart. One woman in the breastfeeding and lactation conference last week asked me if I would be sad when Elena wants to wean. I replied that I will be surprised. But I think I will be sad. Nursing is our time, and really the only time she is that snuggly with me for an extended period of time. I just don't see that extended snuggling happening with her sippy cup... because it doesn't now and she uses the sippy cup quite regularly.
So I'm glad that Elena's biting me was likely just reflective of something she was trying out at daycare, but also that her behavior was met with a similar consequence of peace area/time out.
And oh, Turner gets to move up in May, too!
Hey Jessie,
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad that Elena has a friend moving up with her, I think that it can be isolating to move a child without the rest of her group. (I'm also unfamiliar with moving a child as a response to biting and surprised that this was the way that they chose to tell you.)
On the nursing thing, I have two other friends right now who are pregnant with their second and nursing their 2-3 year olds... and as a toddler teacher, I had a handful of kids who would nurse (sometimes even during pick up times after long or hard days) and many of them would wean during the 2-3 year each year. Both of my friends are feeling compelled to wean now that they're pregnant (not really intellectually, but just physically done with it). It sounds like that's not the case for you, though.
Good luck on the transition to a new class!
Keep on nursing if you can! My kids all nursed until about 18 months when they self-weaned - except Simon, because I was so pregnant with Violet and nursing was so painful, I gently weaned him. But if you can keep doing it while pregnant - do it! Once they stop nursing, you probably will be sad. It's a bittersweet weaning, I found. I couldn't believe they didn't need anymore in that very basic, life-giving way. :( Enjoy your sweet toddler nursling while you have her!
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