I'm taking a deep breath this morning after two full days of being tied to the computer to staff resident clinics, last minute Chica prep, dropping off a fussy Elena, stopping at the bank as I was $20 short for the Chicas, stopping at Target to update my maternity wardrobe and replace my busted bag, and finally sitting down at Beyond Bread. My belly is big enough now that my regular shirts are mostly too short, and I've just about retired my regular pants. I keenly remember last pregnancy having a breakdown moment during belly transition in feeling wholly unattractive and fat, and skipping out on a night out with friends due to not feeling comfortable in any of my clothes. Luckily my mom went shopping for me and shipped some cute maternity tops out soon afterwards, which helped, as did becoming obviously pregnant as opposed to just appearing ambiguously pregnant vs. chunky.
I haven't had those feelings this pregnancy, and wonder if it's a combination of being too busy with Elena and my new found (lack of) hygiene habits. Soon after Elena was born, my cousin Abby half-joked over Facebook that "baby wipes aren't just for babies". I really took that to heart and in the early days made good use of baby wipes for myself before running out to the store or somewhere that doesn't require much to pass for being clean. I guess I am still ignoring the comments that followed Abby's, comments about how baby wipes were the only way the interior of someone's car got cleaned, or some other novel use of the baby wipe. I never got around to being novel or creative--I just went for basics in wiping away the staleness of my unwashed skin.
I've never been much of a shopper. I don't have the patience required for department stores, and although I used to relish a good sale in my youth, I've bought way too many ill-sized and/or ugly items just because they were cheap--including shoes. So now I am usually in and out, and I shop very infrequently. Mom's picks for maternity clothes are fine, but all the tops are size large and some made me look bigger than I was--not really what you want when gaining 25-35 pounds. And there's the cut-out neck top she bought me--much more her than my style. So today I bought two tops that are cute and work-worthy, and a pair of pants with that ridiculous soft expansive top. I won't go shopping for at least another 6 months.
Yes, this post is incredibly mundane. But that is okay. I'm simply trying to take advantage of having the opportunity to sit by myself and be quiet. My parents were here last week to care for Elena during her break, something for which I am super-grateful. But our house is shrinking as we increase our family's population, and I just am not myself when people are staying with us, as much as I enjoy having guests sometimes. I also learned during my parents' visit how much of an introvert I am in the sense that I REALLY need solitary time to feel refreshed. Constantly relaxing with others is just simply exhausting. And I should really take greater advantage of the opportunity to practice yoga. But when my family is visiting, there's always the pull between self care and spending time with people that I only see a few times per year. But I learned my lesson. Time away will make time together more sweet since I won't be so sour.
On a totally different note, Easter marked the beginning of a new Elena era. I don't really know what to name that new era, but an open to suggestions. And since I'm bad at the baby book thing and this is my (weak) substitute, plus this post sucks so much anyway, here it goes. We went to Mary and Jerry's for Easter, and Elena loved playing in the warm tub (not so much a hot tub when it's mostly kids going in). But she kept interrupting her splashing to shout loudly, "MOM!!" and come back inside the porch to babble something at me before splitting again. She's done it a few times since, but not as intensely as on Easter. This morning she called, "DADDY! MOM!" which was nice because she's been a little Mommy-centric lately. Anyway, it's cute for this 20 month old to be shouting like a tween. I half-expect her to shout, "MOM! Can I have 20 bucks?" or "MOM! I'll be back before 9!" as she runs out the door, though I'm comforted by the fact that she might be able to open doors now but locks are still a challenge.
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